(Stacy’s house, living room at dawn. Morning sun shines into the room)
UNCLE: So, you want to be a master of video games, do you?
UNCLE: You want me to train you so you can fight back against bullies?
UNCLE: Then why don’t you just learn karate?
UNCLE: Oh, nerd bullies you say? A contest of brains, not brawn?
UNCLE: Wrong answer! Intellect alone can’t win you games. Reflexes alone can’t win you games. You need both to defeat your foes!
UNCLE: Don’t be a kiss-ass.
(Stacy’s room, afternoon)
UNCLE: We start simple! Punch-Out!! An arcade classic! No gimmicks, just pure timing and reflexes! Even with your new-fangled graphics, it’s all about fundamentals! (inserts disc in Wii)
UNCLE: (shakes head) Kids these days.
UNCLE: You want to give up so early? You haven’t even passed the first circuit! Are you just going to wimp out like this in front of so many people?
UNCLE: Stacy, how can you throw fireballs before you learn to punch? We’ll try a different game. (puts on Pac-Man) Use your big pellets wisely. Look at the entire screen. Draw the path to victory in your head, then travel it!
UNCLE: (shakes head) Enough. We try again in two weeks.
UNCLE: Expert players have instinct. They will think 20 moves ahead of you. You both lack that instinct, and it cannot be taught in a month. And I have a job and family to attend to. Two weeks, no sooner. (leaves)
(Stacy’s room, a few days later)
(montage of victories in Super Smash Bros by Zelda and Ike follow.)
UNCLE: Oh, hello, Stacy. Are you still playing that Smash Bros game?
UNCLE: WHAT?! You kids sure have a lot of time on your hands.
UNCLE: I don’t know if I have the time…and I’m not used to your newfangled games…
UNCLE: (sigh) Fine. Just for my beloved niece. Let me just read the manual first.
The Winner is…Mario!
UNCLE: (cracks small grin)
UNCLE: This takes me back, when it was just me and my buddies blowing our extra change on Street Fighter.
UNCLE: I would win every single game as Chun-Li.
UNCLE: You kids are dedicated. You should do fine. I’ll drive you there.