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a.k.a. StacyThe nerve of that guy. “Oh, I’m so high and mighty because I have a game you don’t.” He didn’t interrogate anyone else like it’s some freaking job interview!

Milking a pun for all its worthExcuse me, miss. Were you just in the Gamer Club?

a.k.a. StacyUh, sort of? I just got kicked out for being a “Fake Geek Girl”.

Milking a pun for all its worthOh. Sorry about that. Do you think I have a chance? I’ve trained up my Arcanine just for this event.

a.k.a. StacyWell, let me check…no, no, your moveset is all wrong. You’re supposed to use more than just Fire moves.

Milking a pun for all its worthWell, fine, Miss Know-It-All. If you’re so smart, what moves does yours know?

a.k.a. StacyHere’s mine. See the different attack types? It’s to take on whatever Fire can’t handle alone. There’s a lot of good reference sites for Pokémon moves, such as Serebii. (hands over phone)

Milking a pun for all its worth(flips through site) I can’t get those moves.

a.k.a. StacyThen you should have checked before you used your Fire Stone. You’ll have to start over.

Milking a pun for all its worthOh, whatever.


(club meeting room)

LUCAS: (Another noob, huh? They just keeping coming.) Name?

Milking a pun for all its worthOliver. Sorry I’m late.

LUCAS: Welcome aboard, Oliver.

a.k.a. Stacy(from window) (Oh, of course he gets a free pass.)

LUCAS: It’s too bad you didn’t get here earlier. You should have seen the last girl who tried to sign up. Fake Geek Girl thought Zelda was an RPG and never even heard of the Dreamcast. And she never shut up. Heh, stupid girls. They’ll do anything for attention.

Milking a pun for all its worth(nervous chuckle) Oh, I think I’ve met her just now. I asked her for help, and she’s like, “Look it up online!” No wonder she has no friends.

a.k.a. Stacy

Milking a pun for all its worth(meets gaze, shocked)

a.k.a. Stacy(angrily storms off)

LUCAS: (looks at window, then back to Oliver, smirking) There are many fakers like her out there, trying to get in just because our hobby’s getting popular. The same sort who mocked us in elementary. Do you know what happens if they take over?

Milking a pun for all its worthNo. I thought having more people to play with was good.

LUCAS: Dumbed down mechanics. Censorship. Political correctness. Games so diluted even a baby could play them. You think those are good? Maybe to a filthy casual who only plays baby games like Pokémon. Stick around, and we’ll show you real gaming.

Milking a pun for all its worth…I think I can play real games on my own time, thanks. Good day.

LUCAS: (glares as he leaves)


(Night, Stacy’s room)

a.k.a. Stacy(looks into mirror, trying to feign smile) It’s okay Stacy. You’re real to me. Everyone else…

(starts sobbing uncontrollably)

What is wrong with me? All the other girls have no problem fitting in. What is their secret? “Just be yourself.” That’s what they always say. Even if I have less going for me than other girls, other geeks had to be out there! And I thought I was right at home to Hyrule and other game worlds. Surely I could find someone in real life to come on the adventure with me, right? Right?

But I was wrong. Video games are not my home. All along, no matter how much I tried to fit in, I was just a trespasser. (rips off glasses) And nobody is like me. I can’t be myself, because I’m just an annoyance that gets on everybody’s nerves. (gazes at mirror in tears) I’m never going to fit in as a geek! I should just stop trying! (forcefully tosses away glasses).

(looks back at mirror, vision completely blurred) But then, if I can’t be cool, or a geek, who can I be? (sighs)

(picks up broken glasses, puts them back on) Maybe…I’m just not meant to have friends….

(end of Act I)