On the Parkland shooting: Seventeen not Forgotten?


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Hear the children sing For the sick and suffering!

The city of damage control! This is how we…

Green Day

Every year in Canada, we hold a memorial to the 14 victims of the Ecole Polytechnique mass shooting. It’s a horrendous event that left a scar on our nation, a lasting reminder of how dangerous misogyny really is, and led to Parliament immediately introducing a law tightening restrictions on firearms. We call it 14 not Forgotten, one reason being that we want to make sure it stays 14. Also, last year, a pro-gun group tried to protest on the day of the memorial, and we collectively told them to fuck off.

Similarly, the UK has been scarred by the Dunblane Massacre which killed 16 children and 1 teacher. That led to the government banning almost all firearms (the Conservative government, in fact), and they haven’t had a school shooting since. Australia and Germany were also quick to tighten firearm restrictions after their own school shootings.

I’m not saying this out of hatred for the USA, quite the opposite. Reflecting on our own horrors with gun violence only makes it more depressing to see this kind of thing be repeated again and again in the country. Every time a school gets shot up, Republicans shed crocodile thoughts and prayers (while having the sheer gall to accuse Obama of shedding crocodile tears for something that shouldn’t be routine, but is). The media mentions gun control legislation for a while, and promptly forgets about it. They use mental illness as a scapegoat, propose vague, empty solutions while continuing to shut down any suggestions of improving the health care system, and promptly forgets about it. The fact that school shooters tend to espouse horrendously misogynistic and racist rhetoric online? They don’t even mention it because then they might have to look at themselves in the mirror or something. Gun nuts only get more obsessed with their murder toys and yell at everyone else until the rest of the country gets sick of arguing. Then another school gets shot up, and we go through this all over again, with Republicans and gun nuts desperately hoping we don’t get a sense of deja vu and that we all forget the other times this happened. In the words of Dan Hodges’ infamous tweet:

In retrospect Sandy Hook marked the end of the US gun control debate. Once America decided killing children was bearable, it was over.

Dare I hope this time, things might be different? The students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School certainly aren’t forgetting, and they want to make sure no one else does, as if, well, teenagers’ lives matter or something.* Teachers and other students have joined in on walk-out protests, and they’re even taking it to the legislature. Of course, for their bravery, the right-wing pundits like Fox News have went after them. They claim teenagers have no right to talk back to adults, that they don’t understand anything about complex political issues (like whether murder toys are more important than human lives), that they’re just stooges for some left-wing conspiracy.

Everyone who hears something like this should be disgusted. These pundits deserve to be forever black marked for their sheer callous lack of empathy. This isn’t the first time adults have acted as if young people have no rights, but this crosses the line into pure evil (and I don’t use that word lightly).

So I’m fully behind the Parkland students and applaud them for fighting for their basic human rights, something that much of their older generation has forgotten. People around the world are rooting for you, and we should all do what we can to ensure that this time, we will not accept children’s deaths as collateral damage, and that the seventeen who lost their lives will not be forgotten.

Say a prayer for the ones that we love.

Say a prayer for the ones that we love.

Say a prayer for the ones that we love.

Say goodbye to the ones that we love.

*I don’t intend to make light of Black Lives Matter. Police shootings are every bit as appalling as school shootings, and the fact that black people have been fighting for their right to live for much longer goes to show just how embedded racism and lack of empathy are in the fabric of our culture. In fact, I suspect Black Lives Matter may have encouraged the Parkland students to rise up by laying the groundwork.


My strange feelings towards Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card


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It seems we’ve really been getting a lot of revivals recently. We had a new Sailor Moon, a new Dragon Ball, and now it’s Sakura’s turn. She’s supposedly in middle school now, but it seems none of the characters have aged a bit. I guess I should find that charming, in the sense of re-connecting with old friends, but all I can think of is how much of the new episodes are recycled content. Even The Force Awakens, as nostalgia pandering as that was, introduced different characters that could take things in interesting new directions (and say what you will about Last Jedi, but it certainly was interesting). On the other hand, Sakura’s just off collecting new cards that just so happen to resemble the old cards, having new dreams that resemble the old dreams, characters are making the same old jokes they did before, and no one even displays a hint of self-aware deja vu about it. It’s the safest and least ambitious thing I’ve seen since Pokemon Origins, and normally, this is where I’d simply dismiss it as cynical nostalgia bait, baffled as to how so many people can fall for it.

And yet, if I did so, I wouldn’t be writing this entry right now. I mean, I didn’t write a Pokemon Origins entry for those reasons, but Cardcaptor Sakura is different. It means something to me.

At this point, I ought to make a confession. I never felt like a Cardcaptor fan. Sure, I love the show, and, as I had previously explained, it does occupy a special place in my heart. However, I like it for reasons that are different from almost everyone else. Whereas most people dismissed Nelvana Sakura as a brat that was an insult to the real Sakura, I saw in her a rare androgynous magical girl I could actually relate to. My favourite character in the entire series is Meilin, and she not only tends to get neglected, if not hated by the wider fanbase, but she wasn’t even in the original manga. In fact, a major reason I’m particularly attached to Meilin and Touya/Tori (my second favourite character) is because they’re less goody-two shoes than the rest of the cast and injected some welcome sarcasm into the group dynamic. In the context of the show, it didn’t matter how offbeat my opinions were. No one made a single comment about Sakura’s androgyny, but instead thought she was awesome for it. The characters, especially Sakura herself, accepted Meilin and called her a good friend even despite her bitchiness. The anime may not have had the most interesting plot, but it was refreshing escapism at the time. Unusual girls tend to be portrayed and treated as outcasts in most fiction, even when they’re heroes, but in the context of Cardcaptors, unusual was totally normal.

And then I met the show’s online fandom. Make no mistake, it’s one of the nicer fandoms. However, when I never hear anything but scorn for the Nelvana dub that was such a key formative aspect of my childhood, it makes my opinions feel, illegitimate, ya know? Like, there’s this cognitive dissonance with hearing people praise the show for being so inclusive, yet have your feelings and experience be excluded. It didn’t help that it took me until adulthood to actually understand why I felt that way about something everyone hated (heck, the reason I wrote the Memories entry, along with the one for the Grinch movie, was because I saw no one else make those arguments). Until then, Cardcaptor Sakura fandom felt to me like a group of people having fun without me. So when I see people go nuts about the revival series, I get the feeling that, maybe, I have such a low opinion of it because it’s like a party I wasn’t invited to. It wasn’t meant for me. And it never was, because I’m not a real fan anyway, but just a weirdo playing in the corner alone.

I know all that was quite personal, perhaps even petty. But those are the feelings that comes flooding back to me whenever I see Clear Card, and I felt it was important to be honest about them since it would influence my opinions of the anime whether I said them or not. There’s also me growing up with series that aged with me, most famously Harry Potter. If I see a new installment of something I’ve liked in the past, I’ve become accustomed to expecting new perspectives that come with becoming older or that acknowledge how things have changed in the present day. In contrast, with the new series, Cardcaptor Sakura seems permanently frozen in time, with the characters remaining static icons. I do not understand the appeal of such a thing, and it even creeps me out a bit. I mean, sure, my idea of a continuation would have a teenage Meilin cursing out everyone, and that’s good reason to be grateful I’m nowhere near the production of the anime. But it would have been nice to at least see Sakura come to terms with using her existing cards responsibly rather than go chase new cards. I’m not asking for an edgelord makeover, just a bit more coming-of-age maturity similar to some of the better Spiderman stories.

Well, those are my confused feelings towards some nostalgic kiddie anime. I hope it was at least an interesting second opinion on things, despite all the personal baggage.

On being a “content creator”


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It seems to be a term bandied about a lot these days. An awful, vacuous, insipid, empty, meaningless term. People never refer to the artists from antiquity as “content creators.” No, they’re sculptors, architects, authors, essayists, poets, musicians. In more modern times, we have film directors, television producers, game programmers, the list goes on. However, if you publish something online, somehow, those titles are too prestigious. Bloggers are not seen as essayists. Online video producers are not even seen as amateur film makers. No, just “content creators.”

What does “content” mean? Since the term virtually only gets used to refer to online submissions, we can gleam its connotative meaning by how online submissions are typically perceived: quantitatively. Web material is judged by numbers; how many views, likes, or re-shares a post receives. This, of course, turns content creation into a popularity contest. Importantly, people lose interest if you’re not constantly pushing out material. Whereas offline artists will take their time and may take a few years to release new material, online creators feel pressured to produce at a much faster rate to keep the views and likes up. The advent of 24/7 streaming is the natural consequence of this rating system.

But with so much content being produced, how much of it is actually memorable? A lot of it seems disposable. Those awful, attention-seeking prank videos that thrive on bad taste. Glorified infomercials for big video game companies. Even forum posts are considered “content creation,” you know, those messages that you post once and never see again, and are generally equated with the sewer of the Internet. If that is considered “content”, then being a content creator doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t say anything about the quality of the material you produce, and is too broad a term to set you apart from someone else. It’s a illusory title, meant to sound more prestigious than it actually is.

I’ve been thinking about this term recently, since I’m starting to get more involved in creating things. I wouldn’t want my stories, blog posts, or music videos to be labelled as mere content. Whenever I post my essays here, I do so because I have something on my mind, and I post sparingly since I want to give off the impression I have something meaningful to say rather than just contributing more meaningless noise to an already cluttered information sphere. Obviously, not every post is equal, but I hope that some of my posts will resonate with people. That people don’t just read and forget it, but it sticks with them, and they refer back to it from time to time, if only mentally. I don’t expect to change people’s minds, but it would be nice if people ended up seeing things from a different perspective.

What I’d like to create, are memories.

2018: Time for a paradigm shift

It’s about time for the blog in its current state to end. Originally, it was meant to be a diary in which I could anonymously express my feelings without anyone in my life knowing. However, once I started posting my story draft here, with the intent of eventually rewriting it for publication, I knew the blog would no longer be able to fulfill that purpose. Becoming a successful author requires name recognition, which compromises my anonymity, but in fact, the conflict extends beyond writing.

Something has changed significantly in my life in the past year, something that now allows me to pursue life goals I would never have thought possible. However, my renewed path requires me to exercise greater control over my public image, since anything you say or do can be used against you. Right now, I’ve been cushioned by the blog not attracting a huge audience, but things may not stay that way forever. So there will be sweeping changes.

I’m reluctant to end the blog entirely, since there are several posts I would like to preserve. Most likely, I may end up transferring them to a new alias. However, I definitely will take down Fake Geek Girl Adventures eventually, since I won’t be able to keep it up if I actually want to officially publish it, and it needs serious re-writing anyways. For those who have been reading up until now, I hope you found my posts interesting, and enjoy the new year.

What is genderfluidity?


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Genderfluidity is freedom.

It means having more options available, options that would be otherwise be effectively verboten to those with a fixed gender.

It means flexibility, versatility. To transcend the artificial boundaries. To experiment with arbitrarily gender-coded attributes, intermingle them, and possibly create something unique and wonderful in the process.

It means no limits, not being aware there was supposed to be a rule against something because of the way you were born, or being aware of it and not caring. Because it’s a stupid rule anyway.

It means being able to experience the entirety of the human condition, to feel comfortable making friends with anyone regardless of gender, to know how every side feels affection differently.

It means being whole. One does not need to complete their yin with another’s yang or vice versa, because they already know how to harness both.

Most people, at least in European cultures, do not believe such a thing exists. And yet, they’ve been endlessly fascinated by the concept of transmuting one’s gender in fantasy: switching genders to understand the other’s mindset, switching genders to become closer to their loved ones, imagining, drawing, or even cosplaying fictional characters as the opposite sex. Clearly, there’s a will for such an ability.

It’s no fantasy. Many cultures have acknowledged third genders since antiquity, and only now are other cultures catching on. But it’s nice, finally realizing that such a thing is indeed possible thanks to the efforts of those who insist on making themselves seen and heard.

It’s no curse. It may feel that way when those who don’t understand it treat it as such, but they are limited by fear of the strange and unusual. Being strange and unusual, you are not. Those words imply that you cannot conform to social norms. And if you cannot, that means you don’t have to.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. All I know is that there are so many places to go, and I want to experience all of it.

Fake Geek Girl Adventures 1-Epilogue: Two Worlds


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“Hi again, Lydie. Long time no see.”

“Good to see you again, Stacy. Sorry, I’ve been busy with school.”

“It’s fine.”

Stacy gazed quizzically at Lydia’s Santa dress. “Aren’t you cold?”

Lydia smiled. “After being on the ice for a while, not really.”

“Ooh, I’ve always wanted to try skating. Well, ice skating, that is.”

Lydia chuckled. “Say, how’s roller derby treating you?”

Stacy rubbed her face. “Still getting pushed around a lot.”

“Having fun at least?”

Stacy grinned. “Heck yeah!”

“Good. Well, I’m still getting used to staying balanced myself. Luckily, Sayaka’s been a great teacher.”

Stacy was curious. “Sayaka?”

“Friend of mine from school. We met a couple of years ago at the music festival.”

“Oh, I see,” Stacy replied, smiling nervously. “Well, it’s great that you get to see each other more regularly.”

“Indeed. Say, how’s school treating you?”

Stacy sighed in relief. “Fine, I guess. It was hard, but I managed to get at least an A- in everything, even English! Oliver saved my butt there.”

“Good to hear. I wasn’t so fortunate, though. Got a B in Honours Physics.”

Stacy gasped. “What? How?”

Somehow still smiling, Lydia replied, “Tried fitting too much in my schedule, so between my other courses and student clubs, I was overwhelmed. Oh well, lesson learned.”

Stacy was weirdly comforted to learn that Lydia wasn’t perfect after all, but annoyed at herself for feeling that way. “What clubs are you participating in, anyway?”

“The University Cosplay Club, for one. Planning to run for a VP position next year.”

Stacy’s eyes widened in excitement. “Wow, that’s great! I’m hoping to have a costume ready for CherryCon myself!”

“Who are you going as?”

“Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld.”

Lydia paused. “Never heard of her.”

Stacy grinned, sending an image of her to Lydia. “She’s this nerd who becomes a warrior princess in a fantasy video game world.”

Lydia admired the image. “Ah, interesting choice. Yes, I can definitely help you put her outfit together…provided I have time, of course.”

“No problem, Lydie. I’ll try to come up with something first. But maybe if I go to the city some time, we can meet up and finish it together!”

“That would be nice. Anyway, it’s been nice talking to you again, but I’ve got a Christmas party to go to. See you around, Anastasia, and best wishes for the new year.”

Stacy giggled, and Lydia’s eyes dilated in surprise, impressed she wasn’t annoyed this time. “Merry Christmas, Lydia. I hope everything goes well for you too!”

Lydia giggled in return. “Thank you. Farewell.”

“See ya!”

Lydia shut down her computer after ending the conversation with Stacy, prepared to leave for the bus. As she felt the chilly breeze on her leggings, she remembered what it was really like to be on the ice with Sayaka.

“Just hold on to me, okay? If you fall, I’ll be here to catch you.”

She grimaced at how cheesy that sounded in hindsight, but she felt her hands becoming warm, as if she was gliding along with her once again.

Meanwhile, Stacy looked down at her desk, admiring the anime-style portrait on the notebook in front of her. Anastasia, Princess of Dreams. Clad in a beautiful jade dress and matching glasses, she was smiling back at her mirror image, an unsure-looking girl in Stacy’s usual outfit, all while the superpowered Oliver, Cheryl, and Tori struck dramatic poses in front of Crystalia’s shining palace. Stacy couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw that in the mail this morning.

“Who made this?” her dad asked.

“A friend from school, Tori!” she told him. “She’s really good at this kind of thing.”

He looked on admiringly. “You have amazing friends.”

And then he added his own signature to the other side of the front cover! Stacy thought. It was the nicest thing he did in ages, and for once, it felt like they were a real family. She sighed dreamily as she opened the book.

“Thanks, everyone,” she said, as she read the message inside.

Thank you for all you’ve done for us this year. We know life doesn’t always go the way you want it to, but you’ve always been an inspiration for us. Sorry it took so long, but I hope Princess Anastasia will bring as much hope to you as she has already done for us. Merry Christmas, and we can’t wait for the adventures that we’ll have in the New Year!

Best wishes,

Tori, Oliver, Cheryl, Ren, Colin, Sofia, Nick, Ian, Min, Lian, Nataliya, Myska, Nabila, Ahmed, Alexander

(table of contents)

Fake Geek Girl Adventures 1-C: Fragrance of Memories


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It was a windy autumn afternoon at the University’s main road, where several student clubs were setting up booths and vying for the wanderers’ attention. One such student, a girl with pitch-black bowl-cut hair and a brown leather coat, was casually strolling along, on the lookout for anything that may interest her. She then noticed someone familiar standing in front of the Cosplay Club booth.

A tall girl, with green hair, a matching leaf-like tube top, and a rainbow-coloured transparent petal skirt with ruby heels. She felt intimidated by her figure, but felt comforted upon seeing her serenely smiling face. She wondered if, after all this time, she still recognized her.

“Hi,” she told the girl at the booth. “Are you Lydia Li?”

“Yes,” she responded, her eyes brightening. “We’ve met before, haven’t we?”

She put her finger to her cheek, trying to remember. “The music festival a few years ago, am I correct?”

The bowl-haired girl was excited. “Yes, indeed!”

She sighed dreamily. “I could never forget that day. You were so beautiful in that red dress, and your rendition of Fragments of Memories was so captivating. I wondered if I’d ever see you again, and now here you are!”

“I’m flattered,” Lydia said in a breezy, yet deadpan tone as the girl’s heart raced. “Hmm…what was your name again?”

Her heart sunk. She didn’t remember? “Um, Sa…”

Lydia held up a finger in inspiration. “Wait, Sayaka, right?”

Sayaka gasped, pleased that she even managed to pronounce it correctly. “Yes, Sayaka Akihara!”

“Pleasant surprise seeing you here,” Lydia remarked. “Still working that guitar of yours?”

“Yes,” Sayaka replied. “I just got started in the Music program here. I hope by the time I finish, I’ll be ready to take the world by storm!”

Lydia giggled. “I’m sure you will.”

“What are you taking, Lydie?”

“Computer Science.”

Sayaka was shocked. “Wow, you’re really talented. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I get that a lot,” Lydia remarked.

She then noticed the boy beside her looking at her impatiently. “Oh, right,” she said. “Sorry, gotta get back to business. Anyway, are you interested in signing up for the Cosplay Club?”

“Um, sure, I guess I could give it a try.”

“Ever had a character you wanted to dress up as?” Lydia asked encouragingly.

Sayaka stared at her nervously. “Um, not really. I don’t know much about fashion.”

“Doesn’t matter. Just come as you are. We’ll come up with a dream outfit together…”

She grabbed a tree branch off the ground and made a swirling motion around Sayaka’s head. She chuckled.

“…and make it a reality,” she finished. “Just give us your name, your phone number, and email so we can contact you about events.”

“Wait, that’s all I have to do?” she asked.


Sayaka smiled. She got out her yellow Sailor Venus pen and signed her contact info on the mailing list.

“You’re all good,” Lydia told her. “See you next week at the Club Social.”

“Will do, Lydia,” Sayaka replied. “See you around.”

As she walked away, she thought, Her skin is so perfect. I wonder how she keeps it like that.


“Hi everyone,” the Club President called out to the crowd of 11 students sitting in front of her. She had long blond hair and was wearing a fancy blue dress, carrying a sword. “How about we do a little icebreaker activity to start? We’ll go around the room saying our name, what we’re studying, and our favourite character.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, though Sayaka looked nervously around the room. The students were mostly girls in frilly skirts and dresses, though she did notice a couple of sharply-dressed boys as well. Compared to everyone else, she felt ordinary and out of place.

“My name’s Genevieve, Gene for short,” the President continued. “I’m in 4th year Philosophy, and my favourite character is Saber from Fate / Zero.”

She then turned to Lydia, whose hair was brown today. She had on a blue dress and flesh-coloured leggings that was one of the outfits Sayaka instantly recognized. “Lydia, 1st year Computer Science, and of course, my one true love, Nausicaa.”


After others gave their introductions, the table turned towards Sayaka. “Um, my names Sayaka. I’m in 1st year Music, and my favourite character…um…”

Everyone eagerly stared at her as she racked her brain. She had a lot of favourites, but didn’t think about a specific character that often. Finally, she blurted out “Revy, from Black Lagoon.”

The others gazed at her intriguingly.

“Nice choice,” Gene chuckled. “Have you ever tried dressing as her?”

“Um, I may have thought about it a few times,” Sayaka admitted, looking at some of the skimpier outfits around her. “But, I never was that comfortable showing that much skin.”

“That’s okay,” Gene replied, smiling reassuringly. “I know our costumes can get pretty wild sometimes, but you can work on whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

Sayaka was relieved to hear that, and the table turned towards the rest of the audience. After they went through everyone, a delivery woman brought several boxes of pizza into the room and everyone’s attention suddenly shifted to the tempting smell wafting around the room.

“Now here’s the real reason we’re here today,” Gene remarked sardonically. “Let’s break for pizza!”

Everyone in the room started rushing to get pizza, though Sayaka patiently waited for others to get up before she joined the end of the line. She listened to the others talk amongst themselves, trying to find an opening to join in. However, she remained silent as she heard the girls in front of her talk about anime she never heard about. She scanned the room for other people she could join, but they were talking about their current cosplay projects, and she didn’t want to look ignorant in front of them.

After much deliberation, she finally arrived to pick up her pizza. She looked over to Lydia, who was currently talking with Gene.

“Thanks for helping us with the website,” Gene told Lydia.

“No problem,” she replied. “I was looking for an opportunity to get some programming exercise in.”

Gene giggled as she made a head-squeezing gesture. “I’m glad it was stimulating for you. The site looks really lovely now.”

Sayaka shivered. She wanted to join them, but hesitated since she didn’t want people think she was only interested in Lydia. Gene then waved at her to come join them, and she happily obliged.

“Hi,” Gene greeted. “Um, Say-AH….”

“Sah-yah-kah,” Lydia interjected.

“Right. So, Sayaka, looking forward to the year?”

“Um, yeah, of course!” she replied.

“Any costume you’re particularly interested in making?”

Sayaka paused, desperately trying to think of something. “Um…” she stuttered. “Not yet. But I would like to learn.”

She stared at the two, blushing in embarrassment. She felt like they were staring right through her.

“That’s what we’re here for!” Gene announced. “What about you, Dia?”

“Well, I thought about going as Nausicaa again,” she explained. “But then I remembered someone else I wanted to go out with this year.”

Gene raised her eyebrows. “You’re cheating on Nausicaa?”

“Oh, no,” Lydia remarked. “Like, this other chick’s hot, but it’s not like I want to, do her or anything. It’s purely platonic. No one will ever replace Nausicaa in her heart.”

Sayaka stared at her, unsure of how to respond to that.

“Well, who is this new girl?” Gene asked.

Lydia pulled out her phone, showing her and Sayaka a picture of a maiden with long, black hair. She had a long blue dress flowing over her chestplate and high-heeled boots, posed in a way that exposed her thighs and back. The other two girls gazed at her in awe. She was indeed as attractive as Lydia said.

“Shanoa, from Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia,” Lydia told them. “Been wanting to recreate that outfit for a while.”

“Oh,” Gene responded. “How far along are you?”

“Haven’t done much yet. Classes have been keeping me busy. But it’s getting there, slow and steady.”

“That’s good. Can’t wait to see it.”

Sayaka sighed dreamily, imagining what Lydia would look like in Shanoa’s outfit.


The room started pouring out as the sky turned dark. Sayaka wondered if she too should leave, but felt compelled to stay with Lydia. Gene was returning back to their table after conversing with a few other students.

“Well, I better get home,” Gene told the other two girls. “Hope to see you again next week, Saya.”

“I’ll try to make it,” Sayaka replied. “Bye, Gene!”

“Farewell,” Lydia said.

With Gene’s departure, Sayaka was now alone with Lydia.

“You sure stuck around for a while,” Lydia remarked.

Sayaka stared nervously at her. Was she reading her intentions?

“I’m glad you had fun,” she continued, smiling. She started to walk out of the room, and Sayaka followed. “Coming to the first workshop?”

“Um, I don’t know yet.”

Lydia’s eyebrow raised. “Why?”

Sayaka sighed. “I really appreciate the work you and Gene put into the club. But, I don’t know if I really belong here.”

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s just, everyone seems to know so much more than me. About cosplay, about style, about anime, everything.”

Lydia giggled at her remark. “What’s so funny?” she demanded.

“It’s normal,” Lydia explained. “There were many others there who were just like you; quiet, not saying anything. Gene wanted to make sure no one felt left out, so she was walking around the room to talk to everyone.”

“Yeah, she’s really nice,” Sayaka agreed.

“Trust me, many of the others are just starting out too. But after a few sessions, you’ll get the hang of it. And even if you’re not interested in fashion, you at least know how to make some nice trinkets if you ever get bored.”

“I guess it couldn’t hurt to try a workshop. Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Good to hear.”

They arrived at the bus stop, and Sayaka stopped while they stared at each other for a while.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Lydia asked, with a curious expression on her face.

Sayaka’s heart raced. This was her opportunity, so what was she waiting for? “Do you, um, want to hang out sometime?”

She felt her voice straining to get those words out, but Lydia felt no such worry.

“Sure,” she replied, as Sayaka felt her heart squeeze. “I’m heading over to the East End to meet some friends this Friday for dinner. Would you like to come along?”

Sayaka sighed. She was hoping for a more private meeting, but she should get to know her friends. “I’d love to!” she said.

“How about we meet here at 5 pm?”


“Alright. See you around, Saya.”

“See you, Lydie.”

Without a second glance, Lydia walked away. As Sayaka waited for the bus, she wondered what Lydia was really thinking.


That Friday, Sayaka ran to the bus loop, but she was nowhere to be seen when she arrived. She panicked, hoping she wasn’t too late, but she then checked her watch and realized it was still 4:50. Breathing a sigh of relief, she decided to wait it out.

A long 10 minutes passed, but there was still no sign of Lydia. She was getting worried. Did she change her mind? she wondered. But after 5 more minutes of nerve-wracking anticipation, she finally saw Lydia walking towards the bus stop, chatting with a boy that had brown, fringed-style hair. She waved to her, and she smiled back.

“Hi, Lydia,” Sayaka greeted.

“Oh, hello,” Lydia replied.

The brown-haired boy greeted Sayaka with a handshake. “Hi, I’m Drew.”

“Sayaka,” she replied. “How long have you two known each other?”

Lydia and Drew stared at each other, chuckling. “Two years,” Drew said. “We went to Portlandia Secondary together.”

Sayaka was surprised to hear that name, as Lydia didn’t look like someone from an East End school. She said nothing, but instead pulled out a mirror to check her hair and adjust her braided pigtails. The two were dressed in sailor outfits reminiscent of Japanese school uniforms, with Sayaka’s eyes gravitating towards Lydia’s tiny azure miniskirt. She quickly averted her gaze, hoping no one noticed her staring.

“So, where are we headed to?” she asked.

“I’m staying with my girl Willow over the weekend,” Drew explained.

“Been a while since we last saw her,” Lydia added. “So we owe her as much.”

Sayaka breathed a sigh of relief, glad they weren’t a couple after all. The next bus finally arrived, and when they got on, there were only two empty seats left, and Drew offered the seats to the two girls. Sayaka willingly sat down, hoping Lydia would also join her.

“It’s okay,” Lydia told Drew, who sat down and turned his attention towards Sayaka while she grabbed a support pole and pulled out Persepolis.

“So, what are you studying?” he asked.

“Music,” she said quietly.

“Cool!” he exclaimed. “What instrument do you play?”


“Wow, that’s awesome! We have some spare guitars at Willow’s place, so maybe we could hear you rock out.”

Sayaka stared at him anxiously. “I’m not that good, though.”

“Neither am I!” Drew responded cheerfully. “But if Willow’s willing to put up with it, I know she’ll love to hear from you. Wanna try anyway?”

Sayaka smiled. “Sure. Anyway, what are you studying?”

“Computer Science. I’m in the same class as Dia.”

“How’s it going so far?”

Drew smiled sheepishly. “It’s tough. Little mistakes can really mess you up. Would have pulled an all-nighter trying to finish this week’s assignment if I didn’t have Lydia around to help out.”

“She sounds really smart.”

“She is. The three of us made a video game together, and she programmed most of it. She had a lot of outlandish ideas, though, so I’d like to think Willow and I helped keep the game playable.”

Drew chuckled, remembering the many arguments they had, while Sayaka fell silent. She’s accomplished so much, she thought. But what have I done?

“Hey, are you feeling okay?” Drew asked.

“Yes, I’m fine,” she responded, smiling. “How often do you meet with her?”

“Well, we do share the same room, so every day, I guess.”

Sayaka gasped. “What’s it like, living with her?” she asked.

“It’s all right. We have fun sometimes, but she has a habit of keeping things to herself.”

Sayaka looked up at Lydia, who was still deeply involved with her graphic novel, unperturbed by the moving and shaking bus. Yeah, she could see that.


Willow rushed out to hug Drew as soon as she saw the three of them walk up to her apartment room.

“Drew! It’s so great to see you again!” she cried.

“I’ve missed you,” Drew replied. “Sorry for making you wait.”

“It’s okay. Just, try to come back more often, okay?”

Drew smiled anxiously. “It’s been a busy few weeks, but I’ll do what I can.”

Willow grinned. “Awesome. Is Dia treating you okay over there?”

“Yeah, she’s been a great help.”

She then turned to Lydia. “I’m really glad you decided to stay with him.”

“It’s no big deal,” Lydia replied.

Drew looked back at her. “I promise I’ll pay you back eventually.”

“Look, we’ve been over this,” Lydia told him. “I don’t mind covering for you. Just do your best, and that’s payment enough.”

Sayaka was unsure of what was going on, but was worried. This situation sounded familiar to her. “Wait, what’s going on between them?” she asked Willow.

“Drew’s mom is a gambling addict,” Willow explained. “He’s been trying to support her, but it’s tough for her to break that habit. So many times, she’s blown away what little money they had, even when he needed it to pay for stuff like textbooks. So Lydia agreed to pay for most of his living expenses so he can concentrate on school.”

Sayaka gazed sympathetically at Drew, having been in a similar situation herself.

“What’s your name, anyway?” Willow asked.

She suddenly snapped out of her thoughts. “Sayaka.”

“That’s a nice name,” Willow replied. “We’re cooking elk burgers out in the back. Care to join?”


The four of them walked out to the backyard to greet the rest of the family on the balcony. Mr. Morningstar, a large, jolly man, was already putting together some burgers off the grill along with Rowan when they arrived.

“Wow, sis, you sure brought home a party!” Rowan remarked.

“Good thing we planned ahead,” his dad added, as he addressed Willow. “Thought your boy could use some extra meat, but the more, the merrier!”

Sayaka walked up to greet Willow’s family. “Hi, my name’s Sayaka,” she told him.

“Nice to meet you,” he said, as she shook hands with him and their dad. “I’m Rowan.”

“Make yourself at home,” Mr. Morningstar told her. “There’s plenty of room for everyone!”

They all grabbed their burgers as they sat in a circle, watching each other as they ate.

“So, how’s Atelier Yanagi doing?” Lydia asked Willow.

“Oh, it’s doing just fine!” she replied cheerfully.

Lydia looked unconvinced. “How’s it really doing?”

Willow sighed. Nothing gets past her, does it? “Business is slow,” she admitted. “I’ve been trying to get into as many booths as I can around the city, but haven’t been able to sell too much yet.”

“I see,” Lydia said. “Well, is there any way I can help? With advertising, perhaps?”

“Thanks,” Willow replied. “But you’ve already done enough. I know you’re busy, so I don’t want to give you too much extra work.”

“Oh, it’s no problem for me,” Lydia said. “I know many students who would love to have your geeky styles, so it’s just a matter of getting the word out.”

“I know, and I appreciate your attempts to advertise my store. Just, don’t tire yourself out, okay? From what Drew’s been telling me, it sounds like you’ve got a really busy schedule.”

“Don’t worry, I can manage,” Lydia remarked, though Drew looked unconvinced. They returned to their meal, and after a while, Willow started snuggling up to him. Smiling, he held her as he finished eating his burger. Sayaka smiled as she watched the scene. It was like any worries the two had completely evaporated. She hoped one day, she too would know that affection.

“Say,” Rowan interjected, gesturing at Lydia. “When did you meet Sayaka, anyway?”

Lydia prepared to speak, but she noticed Sayaka gazing at her longingly. “I’ll let her tell the story.”

Sayaka’s heart raced upon hearing those words, and she cleared her throat, excited to relay the story. “We met two years ago at the local music festival. My performance time was coming up, and I was really nervous. While I was looking at the schedule, I looked to my side and saw her, standing right there.”

She sighed dreamily. “She was the most beautiful girl I had ever met. I thought I’d introduce myself to her, but she greeted me first. Turns out she was a long-time pianist at the Festival, and when she realized she was performing after me, she asked if she could see me play my guitar. Of course, I said yes!”

She took a deep breath before continuing. “But I was scared. I hadn’t performed at the festival since I was a child, and I really didn’t want to let down my new friend. But I did. It was a good thing my parents didn’t even come to see me, because midway through my first song, I lost it. I couldn’t remember the chords I was supposed to play. People in the crowd pointed and laughed. It was awful.”

Lydia frowned in concern upon hearing Sayaka struggle to relive that memory.

“I was ready to quit. I never wanted to do this ever again.  But then, I heard her calling to me. She walked right up to the stage, and told me to get up and try again. To finish, so that the judges could properly assess my performance. It was harsh, but somehow, comforting. So I blocked out the jeers in my mind, and just focused on doing over the song, all while that beautiful princess watched and cheered me on. I’ll always be grateful to her for saving me during one of my darkest days.”

Lydia felt uncomfortable by those words. Sayaka, looking concerned, asked, “What’s wrong?”

She paused. “I appreciate the sentiment,” she told her. “I’m glad you didn’t quit after all, and I hate seeing people kick others when they’re down. But, there are times in life where no one will be able to save you, no matter how much they try. So I hope you will be ready when that happens.”

Willow and Drew looked at Lydia with concern. They both knew what she was talking about, but Sayaka just stared at her, wondering if she misspoke.

“Please continue,” Lydia added.

Sayaka paused, collecting her thoughts. “In the end, I got a B-, but the judges were surprisingly nice. They didn’t talk much about my breakdown, but instead, they discussed everything else I needed to work on. They even encouraged me to try again next year!

“Later that day, I met up with Lydia again. We talked for a bit, and to my surprise, she told me that she bombed at the music festival once as well!” she continued. The others gasped, while Lydia continued to smile.

“It’s true,” Lydia replied. “Happened when I was 14. At the time, I thought I played everything perfectly. All the notes were in place, the rhythm was precise, and I followed all the directions on the sheet music. My teacher even told me I was the fastest technique learner she ever had, so I was pretty confident. But to my surprise, I ended up with mostly B’s and B-‘s. To say the least, it was hard for me to accept back then.”

“Didn’t you say you had a particularly strict judge that year?” Willow asked.

“Yes. I talked to some of the older performers, and they told me she was really hard to please. She regularly gave out harsh assessments, and not even the most renowned performers in the community were safe. But they respected her, and after I got over myself and actually read her assessments, I understood why. She was right. Even though I was mechanically sound, it was interpretation that I failed at, because I didn’t put any passion or feeling into my performance. Nothing stood out about my music. It was all by-the-numbers. It was then that I realized I needed to change myself.”

“And then you came back the next year to win the whole thing!” Sayaka gleefully concluded.

“Yes, indeed,” Lydia replied. “It all paid off in the end.

“Say,” Drew interjected, looking at Sayaka. “How has your guitar playing been after the festival?”

“I’m still not that good yet,” she said. “But I did try playing at the festival again the next year, and I even got an A.”

“That’s pretty good if you ask me,” Willow remarked. “Would you like to play for us? I think this place could use some after-dinner music.”

“We can lend you one of our guitars,” Rowan offered.

Sayaka nodded. “Sure, I guess. What should I play?” she asked.

“Anything you’d like,” Mr. Morningstar told her. “I’ll get you all set up.”


“Okay everyone,” Sayaka announced to the excited group, standing in the centre of their outdoor sound system with guitar in hand. “The song I’m about to play is from a Japanese idol group…”

Lydia suddenly frowned, and Sayaka froze. Seeing her anxiety and Willow’s disapproving stare, Lydia quickly put on a smile and gestured at her to continue. Sayaka took a deep breath before she continued.

“I know that’s not everyone’s thing, but it’s a song very close to my heart, so I hope you enjoy it too!”

The group eagerly anticipated her performance, though Lydia was secretly dreading the high-pitched bubblegum pop that was to follow. Sayaka took a few breaths, and then strung out a quick succession of booming opening chords. Everyone was taken aback at how unexpectedly loud her guitar and the backing track were, and it became quickly apparent that this was no dance pop song as she rapidly belted out chords to the fast-paced rock tune accompanying the girly Japanese vocals. Her expression changed as well; gone was the shy, quiet girl they had just recently got to know. As soon as the girl in the backing track started screaming out of the high notes of the chorus, Sayaka too shook and bobbed her head in time with the music, with a scowling, aggressive look on her face, as if she was actually singing herself. Upon the reprise of the chorus, Drew started fist-pumping and chanting “Hey!” along with her. The others started to join in, except for Lydia, who merely smiled serenely.

Finally, the aural storm began to subside as Sayaka played the final line. The room fell silent, then erupted in a huge applause. Sayaka was surprised that her performance went so well. She knew she made a few mistakes, but the others didn’t seem to mind. She bowed, almost ready to cry upon seeing their appreciative faces.

“That was great!” Drew exclaimed.

“You could probably teach Jae-Woo here a thing or two,” Willow remarked, as Drew blushed. Lydia was pleased to see her look so confident up there, and Sayaka blushed upon seeing her face.

“Thank you everyone,” Sayaka announced. “The song is called Hontou Honki by BiSH, and they’re definitely not your typical idol singers. I also sing too, but I wasn’t ready today. Sorry.”

Everyone looked at her in admiration. “Will you play for us again?” Willow asked.

“Sure!” Sayaka explained.

“Have you thought about performing at CherryCon?” Drew asked.

“Well,” Sayaka stuttered. “It’s been a while since I last performed in front of a huge crowd. But yes, that’s what I’m aiming for.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great there,” Mr. Morningstar told her, as everyone nodded in agreement. Lydia then looked at her phone, and got up after seeing a text message from her parents.

“It’s been nice seeing you all again,” she told her friends. “But, you know how my parents are.”

“Really?” Willow asked incredulously. “They’re still expecting you to come back early?”

Lydia rolled her eyes. “To them, I’m still their little Li Li,” she remarked.

“That’s too bad,” Willow said. “But I hope you can stay longer next time.”

“So do I.”

“If you’re staying for the night and need an extra bed, just let us know,” Mr. Morningstar told her.

“Thank you,” Lydia replied.

“See you on Sunday,” Drew told her.

“You too.”

Sayaka got up too, to Lydia’s surprise. “I guess I better get going too then! Thanks again everyone!”

“No, thank you!” Rowan said, which made her giggle.

They all exchanged final farewells as Lydia and Sayaka walked out to catch the bus. They were finally alone. As they waited, something came to Sayaka’s mind.

“Wait, Drew’s Korean name is Jae-Woo?” she asked.

“Yes. Park Jae-Woo.”

Sayaka became curious. “What’s your Chinese name, Lydie?”

“Lǐ Xuĕfēn.”

“That’s a nice name. What does it mean?”

“Xuĕfēn translates to ‘snow fragrance’.”

Sayaka gasped. “How fitting. My name means ‘clear fragrance’.”

She was feeling giddy. “Do you think this means, we’re destined to be together?”

Lydia paused, her expression unchanged. “It’s just a coincidence. We can never tell what the future holds.”

Sayaka was disappointed in her cold response, and said nothing more. The bus arrived, and they sat beside each other, still with nothing to say. Sayaka kept looking longingly at Lydia, but her face seemed frozen in an uncannily serene state. It was an eerily silent trip, and Sayaka wanted to say something, anything. But no words came out. It was only when the bus was approaching her destination that she finally spoke.

“Um, I have to get off soon,” she told Lydia.

Lydia stood up, and looked around. Her eyes widened as she saw the dilapidated surroundings of the region close to the downtown core. “You live here?” she asked.

“Yes, with my grandmother.”

“Oh,” Lydia said. She gazed in astonishment as Sayaka continued.

“My grandfather died recently, just before I started university. Our family wanted her to move out of this region, but she insisted on staying in the place where she was born. So I decided to live with her, so she’d have someone along with her.”

Lydia continued to say nothing, though she looked sympathetic.

“She’s very special to me. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to pay for university, that I would have to take out student loans that I wasn’t sure if I could ever pay off, but she told she would use her own retirement funds to help me. I pleaded with her not to do it, but she wouldn’t change her mind.”


Sayaka began to cry. “Because she said that her story was nearly over, but mine was just beginning. Even though my parents refused to let me study music, she said I should be free to pursue my dreams, because if I didn’t, I’d regret it forever.”

She paused, as the bus drew closer to her destination. “She’s done so much for me, and I want to pay her back somehow. Show her that I’m not just some worthless good-for-nothing, that her belief in me won’t be in vain.”

She stopped to wipe away her tears, and was surprised to see Lydia, for the first time, looking concerned. She was still quiet, contemplating what to say. Eventually, she pulled out her cell phone and started texting something. Sayaka stared at her, wondering what she was doing, but a few seconds after she finished, she noticed a text notification in her own phone. She pulled it out, and realized that she had given her phone number and email. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

“Just, call or email me if you need anything,” Lydia told a stunned Sayaka. “Whether it be money, advice, or just someone to talk to, I’ll be here for you. I promise.”

Tears started welling up once again Sayaka suddenly rushed to hug her. Lydia was taken aback, surprised at how strong her grip was, but she felt a warm feeling in her heart as she returned the gesture, patting her head to console her. They held on until the bus slowed down and called out the next stop. Sayaka seemed reluctant to let go, but slowly loosened her arms. She wiped away her tears as she prepared to walk out.

“See you around, Lydia,” she said, waving to her.

“Farewell for now, until we meet again,” Lydia replied.

As she walked away into the darkness, Lydia remained motionless at the door, even as the bus started moving, so she could see her leave. She waited until she was completely out of her field of vision before she returned to take an empty seat, isolated from everyone else, and closed her eyes.


(table of contents)

Fake Geek Girl Adventures 1-10: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Stacy?


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Clouds filled the sky above Pollock Secondary yard this Friday afternoon, but if it was supposed to be a dreary day, Tori did not feel so. Today was a special day for her, and she embraced the cooler weather as she did some sketches under the giant maple tree as it shed its last leaves. She giggled as one of the leaves blew in her face, and prepared to brush it off just as she heard the front door of the school open.

“Hey, Tori,” Oliver called out. “You sure got here early.”

Tori smiled sweetly. “Yes, we were lucky class finished early today,” she replied. “I’ve been working on a surprise for all of you.”

Everyone’s eyes lit up. “Ooh, whatcha got?” Stacy asked.

Tori laid her sketchbook on the ground, showing a picture of a brown-haired boy in the forest wearing a vest. He was proudly lifting a gem-encrusted dagger as he ran away, accompanied by a tiger. Oliver gazed at the picture wide-eyed in amazement.

“Hey, that’s me!” he cried. “This is amazing. Thanks, Tori!”

“You’re welcome,” Tori said. “And that’s not all.”

She turned the page to a futuristic metropolis, showing a girl in pink armour and rollerblades grinding the industrial rails. A whirlwind of cherry blossoms and a large dragonfly flew around her.

“Oh wow, I look so cool!” Cheryl remarked. “Thanks for doing this!”

Tori smiled, turning the page once more. “And this is me.”

She was standing at the centre of a lake in the meadow in a pastoral dress, singing to the birds, butterflies, and flowers around her. The other three continued to admire the detail she put into this series of manga-inspired pictures.

“It’s been three months since I first joined the club,” Tori explained. “I thought it would be nice to commemorate our time together by drawing my closest friends. And maybe, it’ll help get me closer to finding my own style.”

“Well, I may not have much artistic talent,” Cheryl remarked. “But these sure are stylish to me.”

“You’ve always got us beat in the art department,” Stacy added. “Say, what about me?”

Tori’s heart sunk, seeing her face so full of anticipation. “Um…” she murmured, holding the page. “I haven’t finished yours yet.”

Stacy felt a pang in her chest while the other two flinched in disappointment. “Why not?” she asked.

Tori was sweating. “Um, I’m still working on it,” she explained. “I didn’t forget about you, but, um, I just had trouble coming up with something.”

Stacy looked down at the ground upon hearing that, and Tori desperately tried to defuse the situation. “I didn’t mean it that way! It’s just, I had so many ideas for you, and I’m still trying to decide what to go with!  Please don’t be mad. It’s coming. I promise!”

Stacy looked up, smiling. “It’s fine,” she said, her voice about to crack. “Good art takes time, right? I’m sure you’ll come up with something good.”

She looked at her watch. “Oh crap, I almost forgot. Sorry guys, I’ve got to go. Have a good weekend, everyone!”

The other three were initially puzzled, but then Oliver remembered the occasion. “Have fun at your music lessons!” he called out.

“I’ll try,” Stacy replied, sweating nervously as she strapped on her helmet. “Anyway, bye!”

“Bye!” the other three said.

As she rode off on her bike, Oliver and Cheryl turned to a depressed-looking Tori.

“I screwed up again, didn’t I?” she told them.

“Hey, don’t worry,” Oliver consoled her. “I’m sure Stacy understands.”

“It’s just,” Tori continued. “She’s our leader. She deserves something special for bringing us all together. And yet, I let her down.”

Cheryl, noticed how sad Tori looked, thought of a way to resolve this conundrum. “Hey, you said you had a lot of ideas for her picture, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Tori replied.

“So,” Cheryl said. “Would you mind if we helped you with that drawing? After all, Stacy’s done a lot for all of us.”

Oliver grinned. “I think I know something Stace might like. There’s this cartoon called Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld that she’s been bragging about recently.”

Cheryl was curious. “I didn’t know Stacy was the princess type.”

Oliver showed her and Tori a picture of the titular Amethyst. “She has a sword.”

“Ah, like He-Man!”

Oliver chuckled nervously, now having some weird mental image of Prince Adam in a frilly dress.

“She is quite pretty,” Tori observed. “It would be fun to draw her in an outfit like that.”

She grabbed a pencil and started tracing Amethyst’s body while Oliver and Cheryl watched, curious as to what would result.


Stacy sighed in relief as she parked her bike at Hopper Elementary. Got five minutes to spare, she thought, as she stood at the front doors. Not much has changed. I wonder how everyone’s doing.

After some deliberation, she opened the door. Okay, room 205. Where is that?

She spent a few minutes aimlessly wandering the second floor until Ms. Myska suddenly peeked outside her front door. Drat, Stacy thought. How did I miss that?

“Hi, Ms. Myska,” Stacy said cheerfully. “Long time no see!”

“Yes, it’s been a while,” she replied nonchalantly. “Did you sign in downstairs?”

“Um, no,” she said, her voice shaking. “I’ll do that right away.”

“No need,” Ms. Myska stated. “We’ll take care of that afterwards. The kids are waiting for you.”

Stacy chuckled anxiously as they walked into the room. She was greeted by a cacophony of hyperactive kids on the floor, who were talking amongst themselves. Out of the chatter, she managed to overhear a mention of Splatoon, and smiled.

“Hello class,” Ms. Myska announced. The kids ignored her and continued chattering, so she repeated, in a booming voice, “Hello, Class!!”

The class suddenly fell silent, curious about this weird-looking girl who showed up.

“That’s better,” Ms. Myska said. “Today, we have a special guest. Please give a warm welcome to Anastasia Nazarenko.”

The kids giggled at the sound of her name while Stacy blushed in embarrassment

“Stacy,” she whispered insistently to Ms. Myska. “It’s Stacy.”

“Very well,” she whispered back before turning to the class again. “Stacy has come all the way from Pollock Secondary to teach you music, so you best be on her best behaviour.”

The class whispered amongst themselves, which caused Ms. Myska to yell “Attention, class!” once again. Even after all these years, Stacy was impressed that someone so small could be so loud.

“Anyway, Stacy,” Ms. Myska continued. “Could you tell the class a little about yourself? Like, what are your favourite things?”

Stacy swallowed to clear her throat. “Let’s see,” she began.

Girls with frilled skirts and megaton lasers,

Boys with tight pants, they make my heart waver,

Giant robots that have cities to wring,

These are a few of my favourite things!”

Ms. Myska looked bewildered as Stacy made a fisting motion for the last two lines. She was not expecting that kind of response from her. Noticing her expression, Stacy stopped singing.

“Um, should I continue?” Stacy asked.

Ms. Myska shook her head. “I think we got the point, thank you.”

Stacy chuckled, hoping she didn’t completely embarrass herself already. She looked around the room, and saw the children looking bewildered. A pair of girls were whispering to each other, but most eyes were on her.

Well, at least I got their attention, she thought.


“So, what do you think?”

Tori had drawn a quick concept sketch of Stacy clad in a minidress and shiny leggings, holding her sword up high towards the moon. The other two looked at it with a curious expression on their faces. Something was off about the drawing.

“Stacy looks weird without glasses,” Oliver told her, and Cheryl nodded in agreement.

“Oh,” Tori replied. “Well, Amethyst didn’t have glasses.”

“I know, but it just doesn’t look like Stacy without them,” Oliver explained. “I rarely see her take them off.”

“Me neither,” Cheryl said. “I think we should keep them.”

Tori put her hand to her head, thinking about it. “I understand. It wouldn’t be the same without them.”

The other two nodded as she hastily added Stacy’s glasses to the drawing. “How’s that?”

“That’s more like it,” Oliver told her.

Tori smiled. “So what colour should we make her dress?”

Cheryl was reminded of the green outfit she wears to roller derby practice. “How about jade?”

“Jade does look good on her,” Oliver concurred. “And it would be a nice contrast to amethyst.”

Tori quickly coloured in her dress with a jade green pencil crayon, making her leggings cyan to match.

“I know it looks kind of messy right now,” Tori said. “But I need some time to polish it up. Hopefully, I can get it done by the weekend.”

“Take your time,” Cheryl told her. “I’m sure Stacy will understand even if it takes longer than expected.”

“Better a delayed drawing than a rushed one,” Oliver added.

Tori was comforted by her friends’ responses. She turned back to her drawing, looking at it curiously. “You know, I just realized something. Superheroes often have secret identities, right? To the public, they’re just ordinary men and women.”

“Yeah,” Oliver responded. “Whatcha getting at?”

“I can’t help thinking, maybe Stacy’s the same way.”

Oliver and Cheryl looked quizzically at Tori, who swallowed, organizing her thoughts, before continuing.

“We know how Stacy tries to be all smiles and cheers, right? Doing whatever she can to make us have fun in the club?”

Cheryl and Oliver nodded, their faces a mix of smiles and chuckles as they remembered Stacy’s antics.

“Yet,” Tori continued. “she seems to get upset easily. And even though she tries to hide it, I always sense this, sadness from her. She was crying, a lot when we talked about her dad.”

The other two frowned in concern, all too familiar with what she was talking about.

“I hope it doesn’t sound insensitive,” Tori concluded. “But I’d like to capture Stacy’s whole personality in the drawing. Would that be a good idea?”

Cheryl and Oliver looked at each other, thinking of what to say.

“Well,” Oliver began, pointing at the drawing. “It’s like you said, heroes have secret identities. Maybe we could also include Stacy herself in the picture along with her magical princess self.”

Oliver suddenly got an idea. “And we could call her Princess Anastasia!”

Cheryl and Tori rejoiced as they imagined the two Stacies together. “But wait, doesn’t she hate that name?” Cheryl pointed out.

“We can redeem it for her, can’t we?” Oliver responded.

“It’s a lovely name,” Tori agreed. “She shouldn’t hate it as much as she does.”

Cheryl had another idea. “We could show her comforting Stacy and giving her hope.” She grinned as she continued. “And since she’s the one who brought us all together, how about we also show her giving the rest of us our powers?”

Tori’s eyes widened in excitement. “Yeah, that’s perfect!”

She started frantically sketching so she’d remember everything. “Thanks so much, you two! With your ideas, I think we can make something truly special for Stacy.”


Do, a deer, a female deer,

Re, a drop of golden sun,”

Stacy was playing the classic song on the piano, trying to encourage the kids to sing along with her, but they just stared at her blankly. She was getting annoyed, but she tried to keep up her smile.

“Heh, guess it’s a bit too old for you guys,” she remarked sheepishly.

“They play this song all the time,” a girl complained. “We’re tired of it.”

Stacy stopped to regain her composure. “What’s your name?”

“Nabila,” she said.

“Well, Nabila…” she said, trying to think of an alternative. “You’ve never heard it like…this before!”

She placed her hands on the piano, but started singing a capella.

“Do, you know like Homer Simpson, D’oh!”

As she smacked her forehead, the kids laughed. Stacy, realizing she was on to something, continued while introducing the accompaniment.

Rei, my favourite Sailor Scout!

Mi, part of, A-mi, Yu-mi!

Fa, the warrior Fa Mulan!”

The kids listened in awe, and each line excited a different part of the audience as they recognized the characters she was singing about. Stacy realized she was on to something, took a quick breath, and kept going.

“Sol, is Latin for the Sun!

“La, when you can’t think of anything else to sing!

“Ti, yes bubble tea is great!”

“That brings us back to…”

Stacy immediately pointed towards the kids, and they slapped their heads in unison, singing Homer’s D’oh in scattered pitches. Stacy smiled as they giggled.

“That didn’t even rhyme!” Nabila pointed out though her chuckles.

“Well, I made it up just now,” Stacy admitted, as several of the kids gasped in amazement. “Anyway, now that I’ve got you listening, how about we sing for real? Don’t just listen the words. Follow along to the sound of my voice as well!”

In the corner of the room, Ms. Myska was frowning. She was expecting a tutor, not a clown. Stacy noticed her icy expression from the corner of her eye, and froze, unsure of whether she should continue.

“C’mon,” Nabila encouraged her. “What are you waiting for?”

Wow, she’s really eager, Stacy thought. She was a bit embarrassed to be receiving commands from a little girl, but at the same time, she appreciated her enthusiasm. Boldened by her words, she started singing again. “Do, like Homer Simpson, D’oh!”

Soon, others joined in. “Rei, my favourite Sailor Scout,”

Got ‘em, she thought, grinning.

“Mi, part of, AmiYumi

Fa, the Warrior Fa Mulan!”


“Okay, I think we’ve done enough for today,” Tori announced, as she put down her pencil and closed her sketchbook. “Thanks again, guys, but I have to go. Mother will be upset if I’m late for dinner.”

Oliver sighed in relief. “Let us know how it turns out!” he told her.

“We’re here to help if you need any other ideas,” Cheryl reminded her.

“Thanks,” Tori said. “Goodbye, everyone!”

She began running off to catch the bus, as Cheryl and Oliver smiled at each other, satisfied with how Stacy’s drawing was progressing. But suddenly, she turned around just as she reached the bus stop.

“One more thing,” she demanded. “Don’t tell Stacy, okay? Not until it’s done!”

She did a twirl as she turned to face the arriving school bus, while Oliver and Cheryl looked at her in shock.

“Wasn’t expecting that from Tori,” Oliver commented.

“Me neither,” Cheryl concurred.


“Ti, yes bubble tea is great!”

“That brings us back to, D’oh!”

Everyone was beginning to sound more synchronized as the kids made various over-exaggerated D’oh! gestures to Stacy’s amusement.

“Good job, guys,” she commented. “You all sound great!”

Suddenly, the bell rang, and Stacy saw several parents at the door. “Well, that’s it for today. I hope you enjoyed the lesson, and maybe I’ll see some of you on stage someday!”

“You sure about that?” Nabila asked, unconvinced. “Or are you just telling us that to make us feel better?”

Stacy frowned. Tough crowd, she thought. “Well, obviously, you have to work hard at it,” she responded. “But it doesn’t hurt to dream big, to envision the future you want for yourself, so you can motivate yourself to go for it!”

Nabila listened intently. The children were all bright-faced, entranced by Stacy’s enthusiasm.

“And maybe not all of you are interested in performing,” she continued. “But that’s okay. I hope you seen, er, heard how fun making music can be, and you’ll keep enjoying it in whatever way you desire. And remember, be nice to Ms. Myska!”

Their teacher cracked a small smile at that remark. She noticed them preparing to leave, and gestured for them to stop. “Anyway, what should we say to Stacy?”

“Thank You!” the kids announced in unison.

Stacy heard plenty of chatter as the parents took their kids out of the room. Eventually, when there was only Nabila left, Ms. Myska turned to Stacy.

“How’d I do?” she asked, shaking anxiously.

“I must say,” Ms. Myska began. “You have a very, unorthodox style of teaching.”

Stacy frowned. “Is that a euphemism?”


Nabila suddenly joined in the conversation. “Can we have Stacy here again? Please?” she asked her teacher.

“…the kids seemed to like it.” Ms. Myska concluded. “So whatever you did worked.”

Stacy had a large grin on her face. “Glad to be of service.”

“And since Nabi here asked so politely, would you like to come back again next term?”

Stacy gasped. “Really?”

“Yes,” Ms. Myska responded. “We’re a bit short on teachers here, so not all the students really get a chance to learn music properly. If we have time, you’d really be a great help.”

Stacy’s heart was pounding. “I’ll have to check my schedule, but I’ll let you know as soon as I can!”

“Yay!” Nabila cried.

Ms. Myska smiled. “Thanks a lot, Stacy. I look forward to seeing you around.”

“You too!” Stacy said.

Finally, Nabila’s mother arrived, accompanied by her brother.

“Sorry I’m late,” her mother said.

“It’s okay, mama,” she told her. “Stacy was really fun.”

“I’m so happy to hear that,” she said, while her brother looked at Stacy intriguingly. “I’m Maya, by the way.”

Stacy walked up to shake her hand. “Stacy.”

Nabila’s brother’s eyes lit up at that name. “Hey, aren’t you Nick and Ian’s cousin?” he asked.

Nabila looked oddly at Stacy, who walked up to shake his hand. “Yep. Ahmed, right?”

“Yep,” Ahmed said. “Your cousins have told me you’re quite the gamer. Care to prove it sometime?”

Stacy smirked. “Any time.”

Ahmed laughed. “Well, I can’t wait to see.”

“Can I join in too?” Nabila asked. “I’m a great gamer.”

Stacy and Ahmed smiled. “Of course!”


She extended her arms to hug Stacy, who returned the favour. Before the family started to leave, the three of them exchanged phone numbers and emails so they could set a time later.

“Bye, Stacy!” Nabila called out.

“See you soon,” Stacy called back.

Ms. Myska was pleased to see the girls get along so well. Though Stacy was still quite odd to her, she was looking forward to seeing what she’d come up with next term.


The next Monday morning, the last maple leaf began to fall in the courtyard of Pollock Secondary. The Games for Everyone club and several other students, crowded around to see it happen. Their eyes were locked to the leaf’s trajectory as it whirled around a bit, then peacefully drifted downwards to join the others. Staring at the now bare tree, Stacy looked on in regret.

“Looks like term’s ending soon,” Stacy remarked, sighing. “And we didn’t really do much as a club, did we? Guess I should have planned things better.”

“Aw, c’mon, Stacy,” Oliver retorted. “I don’t know about everyone else, but I had fun.”

“I did too,” Cheryl added. “It was fun just chilling with you all every week at lunch.”

“Still,” Stacy said, smiling. “I can always be better, right?”

“Look, Stacy,” Cheryl replied. “You’ve done enough for us already, just by bringing us together.”

“I’m glad you went through with the club after all,” Oliver added. “And didn’t listen to Lucas.”

Stacy looked around to see all her friends smiling for her. “Thanks, guys,” she told them.

“I never had friends like all of you before,” Tori said, looking up as she finished sketching the falling maple leaf. “I’m really glad you accepted me.”

“Of course!” Stacy told her. “You’ve done a lot for us too, with all those lovely drawings you’ve done of our time together.”

Tori’s eyes perked up, suddenly reminded of something. “I almost forgot. I’m still working on that drawing. Sorry I couldn’t get it to you today, but we’re trying to make it the best we can.”

Stacy’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh yeah, the drawing. Yeah, take your time. I can wait. But in the meantime, could you at least give me a clue as to what you all have planned?”

Tori smiled mischievously. “We can’t tell you much right now, except I’m doing what I can to make it totally perfect. But it’ll be worth it. I promise.”

Stacy beamed. “I’m sure it will be.”

The bell rang, and all the students in the yard started walking towards the front doors. As the foursome arrived, Stacy turned towards her friends.

“Well, we don’t have many days left before exams, so let’s all buckle down and do our best!” she announced. “May the odds be ever in our favour!”

“Indeed!” the other three exclaimed in unison.

Following the other students into the door, a huge flock of crows flew overhead, cawing out loudly. Everyone was filled with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety, knowing that the term was coming to an end and they only had their finals left to decide their fates. And yet, something was telling them that in the end, everything was going to be all right.


(table of contents)

Fake Geek Girl Adventures 1-B: Princess of Portlandia (Part 2)


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Content warning: Sexual harassment

Willow and Rowan had textile class the next morning, and were nearly finished their term project.

“And…done!” Willow exclaimed triumphantly as she finished sewing the final pieces together.

Rowan sighed in relief. “I can’t wait to show this to Dad!”

“Me too,” Willow concurred.

Their teacher, Mr. Garcia, looked impressed by their creation.

“That’s an intriguing pattern you got there,” he said.

“It’s based on the story of Raven stealing the sun,” Rowan explained, pointing to the shining yellow jewel in Raven’s beak.

Mr. Garcia’s eyes lit up in amazement. “Glad to see you two being so ambitious,” he told them.

Willow smiled. “I’d like to do this for a living someday.”

“Well, you’re already off to a good start,” Mr. Garcia said. “Keep it up.”

The bell then rang as class was dismissed and they waved goodbye. The siblings folded their quilt to put in Willow’s bag as they walked down the hallway.

“Say, bro,” Willow said. “I’ve got another project in mind, and I’m scouting for supplies this weekend. Interested in coming?”

“Sorry, I can’t,” Rowan answered. “Wisteria’s taking us hiking this weekend.”

Willow frowned. “That’s too bad.”

“What are you planning to make, anyway?” Rowan inquired.

“Um, it’s an idea I got from a friend…” Willow replied.

Before she could finish, they saw Lydia walking briskly out of the IB Physics classroom. Holding the door for her was a light-skinned boy with brown hair and narrow glasses, who then proceeded to follow her, leering at her miniskirt.

“Oh dear,” Willow whispered to Rowan, who nodded as they both groaned and stepped out of his view. “That guy.”

“So, Lily,” the boy said. “Wanna hang out at my place tonight? I’ve got Mario Party!”

“No,” Lydia flatly declared.

“Aw, c’mon, I thought you loved video games,” the boy coaxed.

“I already said I’m not interested, Tom,” Lydia reaffirmed.

Tom sighed. “Why do you have to treat me like this, my dear? I held the door open for you, didn’t I?”

“Yes, what a heroic effort on your part,” Lydia remarked coldly. “And please don’t call me dear.”

He gasped dreamily. “Oh, Lily, I love it when you play hard to get.”

“Actually, I think you’re annoying, and I wish to be left alone, thank you very much.”

“Then why are you wearing that tiny skirt?”

He grinned, and Lydia instinctively sidestepped away from him. “Because I don’t care what you think.”

His eyes widened in pity. “I’m just trying to protect you, my princess! You shouldn’t dress like that if you want to be left alone, you know.”

Lydia said nothing, but continued walking. Willow, having had enough of this scene, interjected.

“Why don’t you go annoy someone else, Tom?”

Tom looked at Willow and Rowan, sneering. “Oh look, someone’s jealous of the attention Lily’s getting. Too bad! She’s far much more pretty and talented than you’ll ever be.”

Willow froze. Was that really why she was trying to talk to Lydia? Because she was everything she could never be? She worried then about how genuine her desire for friendship was. Rowan, noticing how upset she was, scowled at Tom, but Lydia gestured at him to stop, as she had arrived at her next class. She promptly walked inside, and the Morningstar siblings, feeling powerless, decided to leave as well. Though they tried to walk away quickly, they still had to hear Tom call out to Lydia in his sickeningly sweet tone of voice.

“See you later, my sweet China doll!”


During lunch hour, Willow was in the library reading Nausicaa. She smiled as she finished the second volume, and as she put the book down, she also noticed Lydia tucked away in a corner of the room, intensely focused on her laptop. Curious, she decided to walk up to her.

“Hi, Dia,” she greeted.

“Hello, Willow,” Lydia replied, noticing she had the Nausicaa manga in hand. “Are you enjoying the manga?”

“Yes,” Willow said. “It’s quite different from the movie.”

“Of course. That’s what makes it so interesting.”

Willow paused. “Um, about this morning…”

“Don’t listen to that idiot,” Lydia interjected. “You’re cute.”

Willow sighed. “I’ll never be as pretty as you.”

“Anyone can be pretty,” Lydia told her. “You just need to be true to yourself and find the outfit that suits you best.”

Willow suddenly became more conscious of her wider body. “Um, Lydia, I know you’re trying to help, but, well, that’s easy for you to say. I don’t have the money to buy clothes like yours.”

“I can try to help you find something,” Lydia offered. “I’ll even pay for everything.”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to do this for me,” Willow replied. “I’ll find something eventually.”

She had a worried expression on her face as her mind returned to what she originally wanted to say. “How long did you have to put up with Tom?”

“He’s been annoying me since the start of the year,” Lydia replied. “I tried telling our professor, and he said he’d deal with him, but, nothing.”

“Somehow, I’m not surprised,” Willow retorted.

Lydia raised her eyebrow. “You’ve met him before?”

“Yeah, he’s the leader of our anime club, and many of us had to quit because of their skeevy antics. But teachers love bragging about he’s a model student, always engaged in class and being a great leader to the kids.”

“I know. The other guys keep telling me I’m just overreacting, that he’s really a nice guy, and I should just give him a chance.”

Lydia cackled softly. “And then they call me a slut when they think I’m not listening.”

Willow was concerned at how casually she seemed to be talking about it. “Have you told anyone else about him?”

Lydia’s smile seemed to crack. “Tried telling Ms. Khorrami. She spent a lot of time arguing with the administration to do something about him, but to no avail. I didn’t want her to be more stressed, especially since she has many other students to take care of, so I decided I would deal with him myself from then on.”

Willow frowned. “You shouldn’t have to,” she protested. “There’s got to be something I can do to help.”

“I appreciate your concern,” she told her. “And thank you for standing up for me this morning. But I don’t see what else you can do right now.”

Willow sighed. “Well, if you ever feel like venting about him some more, just let me know. I’m always here if you need an ear.”

Lydia smiled. “Thank you.”

She returned to her laptop, and Willow was intrigued by the sight of a village drawing. “What are you working on, anyway?”

Lydia’s eyes lit up. “It’s an adventure game I’m working on.”

She then turned towards Willow, giving her usual serene smile. “Imagine you could live in a place without suffering or pain. A sanctuary, where you would be forever safe from the evils and horrors of the world. However, there is one caveat: You can never leave, and you would know nothing of the outside world. Would you be happy with such an existence?”

Willow pondered that question. “It depends on who else is living there. I might be, if I were surrounded by nice and interesting people. It might get boring after a while, though.”

Lydia was carefully listening Willow’s response. “Well, in the game, you are an outsider to the village, trying to learn its secrets, such as how it came to be. Your actions influence the villagers and their opinion of you, and you can ultimately decide in the end whether to stay or leave. Would you like to try?”

Willow smiled. “I’d love to!”

Lydia took out a USB and gave it to Willow. “Let me know how your experience goes.”

“Will do, Dia.”

Lydia, content, returned to her laptop. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a glint of amber.

“Say,” she began. “That’s a nice quilt you got there.”

Willow beamed. “Yeah, my brother and I made it.”

“You two are quite talented. Got any other projects in mind?”

Willow thought about her question. “Um, I’m heading to the fabric store this Saturday afternoon to fetch more supplies. Project’s a secret.”

“That’s interesting.”

Suddenly, the bell rang. Lydia folded up her laptop, and walked out the door.

“See you around, Willow.”

Willow was stunned that she referred to her by name. “See you, Dia.”


Willow was overjoyed to finally find the deep blue cloth she was looking for after much searching. Pleased, she put it in her cart and headed for the counter to pay. It was too bad; there were so many other interesting fabrics in the store, but she needed to control herself. To her surprise, when she did get to the line, she saw a cart stocked with a wide variety of fabric patterns, ribbons, thread, and more, all belonging to a familiar face.

“Um, hi Dia,” she greeted.

“Hello,” she replied.

“What brings you here?”

“Getting material to make some dresses with.”

Willow gazed at the near overflowing cart. “Isn’t that a bit much?”

“It’s always good to have more options in case something doesn’t work out.”

Willow sighed. It must be nice to be rich, she thought as Lydia talked with the cashier.

“By the way,” Lydia asked. “Could you also add the next cart to the bill?

“Sure!” the cashier responded, while Willow stared at Lydia, with mouth agape.

“You don’t have to, Lydia,” she protested.

“I know,” she replied. “Think of it as an opportunity to get something nice for yourself or your family.”

Willow reluctantly handed her stuff over to Lydia, who, as promised, pulled out a few hundred dollar bills to pay for the lot. She placed Willow’s supplies in one of her personal bags, separate from her own supplies, for Willow to pick up. They walked together to the bus stop, and suddenly, Lydia also prepared to handed her own supplies to Willow, who was shocked.

“It’s all yours,” she said.

Willow gasped. “No, I can’t accept this.”

“Why not?” Lydia asked.

“You should keep it, for your own projects,” Willow told her. “You’ve already done me a huge favour.

“It’s not a problem,” Lydia explained. “I have plenty of material at home already, and you look like you could make better use of it. Have fun!”

Willow paused, catching her breath. “But why are you doing this for me?”

Lydia continued to smile. “It’s the least I could do for a friend.”

Willow stared at her. “But I thought you said…”

“Yes,” she interjected. “I said I didn’t need friends.”

Her bus then arrived to take her home to the West Side. “Til we meet again,” she told Willow.

Still shocked at Lydia’s gift, Willow gave her a small wave back. “See you, Dia. And thanks for everything.”


A partially cut lavender cloth lay on part of Willow’s table at home as she played through Lydia’s game. She was currently wandering aimlessly around the village, having already talked to everyone and with no clue what to do next. Getting increasingly frustrated, she got up and started pacing. Just then, Rowan barged into her room with a bundle of black feathers.

“Hey sis,” he said. “Thought I’d give you a little something for that dress you’re making.”

Willow gasped. “You didn’t pluck those feathers, did you?”

Rowan shook his head. “Nope. Been collecting stray feathers for a while, but now it’s time to put them to good use.”

Willow smiled. “Thanks, bro. I’ll take good care of them.”

Rowan gazed at Willow’s computer screen. “Whatcha playing?”

“Just play-testing a game Lydia made.”

“Wow, she’s really interested in you, isn’t she?”

“I suppose,” she said, gesturing towards the mounds of fabric and sewing material. “This was all from her.”

Rowan was shocked. “She gave you all this?”


Rowan stood silently, stunned. “Can’t believe she did that for you,” he said. “Guess I was wrong about her.”

“We all were,” Willow replied. “She’s actually really nice once you get to know her.”

“But why does she act so cold to everyone, then? I don’t get it.”

Willow paused. “She’s a really private person who prefers to keep things to herself.”

“But that’s not really a good excuse,” Rowan retorted.

Willow was worried, hoping she wouldn’t end up revealing too much. “I guess she just doesn’t want certain things leaking out, ya know?”

“I guess.”

Rowan was still confused, but decided to drop the subject and return his attention to the game. “So, how far are you?”

“Not very,” Willow admitted. “Can’t figure out where to go next.”

“Have you looked everywhere? Clicked everything?” Rowan inquired.

“Yes, everything!” Willow stressed, before realizing something. “Wait, there was this one room with this secret staircase, which I was told was off-limits to everyone outside the village.”

Rowan smiled excitedly. “Do it!”

“But the game said not to!”

“All the more reason to try!”


Willow moved to the hidden staircase, clicking to go down. She was in an abandoned basement. Intrigued, she decided to investigate the bookcase, when suddenly, large text saying “Hey, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” showed up. Willow was startled as it faded to the Game Over screen.

“So much for that idea,” Willow sighed. “I give up.”

Rowan shook his head. “You sure there’s no other way?”

“Well, after I’ve been stuck at the freaking beginning for hours, I’m not really eager to find out.”

Rowan smiled. “How about you take a break? A good Elk burger might give you some ideas.”

Willow’s face lit up. “Sure thing. Let’s go!”


A few weeks later, Willow met up with Lydia again for peer tutoring, seeming a lot happier and more confident with her math problems.

“And…done!” Willow exclaimed as she put down her pen. “Wow, that didn’t take long at all.”

“You’ve come a long way,” Lydia replied. “Good luck on the exam, all of you.”

“Thanks, Dia.”

Lydia looked down at her laptop. “By the way,” she began. “What do you think of my game so far?”

Willow paused, staring at Lydia nervously. “Um, I quit playing a couple of weeks ago,” she admitted.

Lydia looked puzzled. “Oh? Why?”

“I couldn’t figure out where to even go! I tried searching everywhere, but the game wouldn’t let me continue.”

“Have you tried the forbidden room?”

“Yes, but I just got an instant Game Over.”

Lydia smiled. “Ah. To get around that, you had to go there at night, but only after you talked to the guard’s wife to learn the lullaby that would put him to sleep. And you had to do it during the New Moon where he would be the most drowsy.”

Willow merely stared blankly at Lydia, her mouth agape. “How the hell was I supposed to know all that?”

“By talking to the villagers,” Lydia replied nonchalantly.

“I did!” Willow protested. “They only said the same line over and over.”

“Well, you have to talk to them in a certain order to make them trust you,” Lydia explained. “Then they would say different things.”

Willow sighed. “I don’t understand why you had to make things so complicated.”

“Well, I never intended it to be finished quickly. It was supposed to test your patience as much as your logic and creative thinking.”

“It certainly did a good job of that,” Willow remarked sardonically. She quickly noticed Lydia looking disappointed and softened her tone. “Look, Dia, I really wanted to like your game, but getting stuck for days isn’t fun for me. I know you’re smart and probably like really hard games, but not everyone is like that. I hope you don’t think I’m an idiot for saying this, but, could you maybe tone it down a little? Make things more intuitive?”

Lydia was silent, thinking over Willow’s words.

“You’re not an idiot,” Lydia said quietly. “And I apologize for making you feel that way. I’m actually glad you were honest, because now I know what to work on.”

“Need any help?” Willow asked.

“No, I’m fine,” Lydia responded.

“I just thought, maybe you could use some extra advice,” Willow said. “Not to imply that you’re a bad designer or anything, but it couldn’t help to have a second opinion, right?”

“Thank you, but I think I know what to do with my own game.”

Willow was taken aback at her remark, and sighed. “What, you think I’m not smart enough for you? That I’ll just taint your grand artistic vision?”

Lydia, realizing the implications of her words, replied, “My apologies. I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Then what did you mean?” Willow demanded.

Lydia was silent, thinking about what to say next. Eventually, she said, “Why do you want to help me?”

“Because we’re friends,” Willow asked. “Who always look out for each other, right? I don’t understand, why call me a friend if you’re just going to keep everything to yourself?”

Lydia said nothing, but merely listened, sensing there was something else she wanted to say.

“And, maybe I am jealous of you,” Willow continued. “I guess I thought, if I could help someone as pretty and smart as you, maybe I could actually feel special.”

Lydia paused, waiting for her to finish. After a moment of silence, she spoke.

“You are special,” Lydia replied. “I haven’t met anyone who was so eager to be my friend since Ms. Khorrami, and it’s nice to have someone like you who truly cares about me. I’m sorry that I was rude to you, and I’ll gladly let you help with my game. In fact, would you like to learn some programming?”

Willow’s head perked upwards. “I’d love to, but I’m not good at time.”

“Everyone has to start somewhere,” Lydia told her. “Once you understand the logical mentality behind programming, it becomes a lot easier. But we can try a few sessions first. Still interested?”

Willow’s eyes widened as she flashed a huge smile. “Yes, I’d love to!”

“Excellent,” Lydia told her. “We’ll start next week then.”

Willow breathed a contented sigh. She didn’t know if she could really do it, but she was overjoyed that Lydia was giving her this opportunity. She outstretched her arms, and Lydia, smiling, embraced her in a hug.

“Thank you so much, Dia. I’ll do what I can to help make your game a success.”

“And I’ll do the best to make you a programming expert.”

They finished hugging, and bid each other farewell as they left for their next class, excited for their eventual first meeting, and each of them glad that they had each other to fall back on from then on out. For Willow, she could only wonder what adventure lay ahead for both of them.


(table of contents)

Fake Geek Girl Adventures 1-B: Princess of Portlandia (Part 1)


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3 years ago

Willow Morningstar was nervous. For her peer tutoring session, she was paired up with Lydia Li, who was renowned as the smartest girl in the school with straight A’s in a full International Baccalaureate slate. However, she was worried as she constantly overheard gossip from her classmates about how rude and stuck-up she was. Maybe they’re just jealous, she thought.

She finally arrived at the classroom, seeing a silhouette of a girl inside, and slowly knocked on the door.

“Come in,” a soft, delicate voice called.

Willow opened the door, and saw Lydia quietly sitting on the table with her laptop. She was astonished, as she looked nothing like what she imagined. She expected a bespectacled Asian girl with messy hair, but instead, she had a silky smooth face, prominently accentuated eyelashes, and long, flowing black hair. She was wearing a frilly white shirt with a black miniskirt, giving her an upper-class Victorian era look.

“Hello,” Willow said. “Lydia, right?”

“Yes,” she replied. “You are Willow, I presume? Here for math help?”


“What in particular are you having issues with?”

“It’s about our surface area assignment.”

Lydia smiled. “Oh, not a problem! Let me take a look.”

Willow anxiously handed over her assignment, which Lydia quickly scanned over. “So, which questions are you having trouble with?”

“All of them.”

“Well, it would have been more helpful if you gave specifics,” Lydia remarked.

Willow frowned. “Okay, fine,” she said, taking a breath. “How do I approach the first question?”

Lydia quickly scanned the shape she presented. “Oh, a rectangular prism,” she announced. “That’s simple. You know how to calculate the area of each face, right?”

“Yes,” Willow answered, becoming increasingly impatient with her airy, condescending voice.

“Okay, then you just need to add them all up.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Willow replied. “But what about the more complicated shapes? The pyramid? The cylinder?”

“Same idea.”

“Could you be more specific?” Willow retorted.

Lydia made a tut-tut sound, while continuing to smile. “You’re very slow, you know.”

Willow sighed. This was going to be a long hour.


The next day, Willow was eating lunch with her friends.

“Thanks for the help, Willow,” Wisteria said.

“No problem!” she replied.

“So, how’d it go with Lydia?” asked her brother Rowan.

“Not bad,” Willow remarked. “Aside from her treating me like an idiot for an hour, that is.”

“Sorry you got stuck with her,” he said. “She reminds me of those spoiled rich girls from the other side of the city.”

“Oh yes,” Willow agreed. She knew them all too well, the girls in hundred-dollar yoga pants who kept giving them mean looks as they passed by.

“We saw her the other day,” Wisteria added. “Tried saying hi, but she just brushed us off and kept walking. Why does she have to be like that? We just wanted to be friendly.”

“I don’t get it either,” Willow concurred. “The way she acts, it’s no wonder she doesn’t have any friends.”

“Probably thinks she’s too good for us anyway,” Rowan remarked bitterly.

Out of the corner of her eye, Willow suddenly spotted Lydia reading Frankenstein. She was worried that she might have overhead their conversation, but she seemed completely unaware of her surroundings. Willow breathed a sigh of relief, and turned back towards Rowan and Wisteria.

“Anyway, I’m going to see Ms. Khorrami tomorrow to try and get someone else to tutor me,” Willow told them.

“Good luck,” Rowan responded.

“Yeah, you totally deserve better,” Wisteria added.


That afternoon, Willow was outside Ms. Khorrami’s office, prepared to make her request a different peer tutor. She saw her looking outside the window, and she walked over to open the door.

“We’ll be just a minute,” she told her.

Willow noticed that Lydia was also in the room, currently staring outside the window with a blank expression on her face. She seemed oblivious to Willow’s arrival.

“Um, actually, may I come in?” Willow asked. “It’s about Lydia.”

Ms. Khorrami sighed. “I know. Dia, is that okay if Willow comes in?”

Lydia looked back at them. “Okay,” she said quietly.

Willow entered the room as the counselor returned to her seat, facing Lydia. “Now,” she began. “Do you know why I encouraged you to take up peer tutoring in the first place?”

“Because it would look good on my resumé?” Lydia answered in her usual calm monotone.

Willow grimaced. Ugh, she is such a try-hard, she thought.

“It’s not just about jobs,” Ms. Khorrami insisted. “You’re the brightest student in our school. Not only is your knowledge valuable, but also, other girls could benefit from having someone like you to talk to. Isn’t encouraging them to pursue Physics a worthy goal as well?”

“I never asked to be a role model,” Lydia retorted.

“Yes, but they still look up to you.”

“They don’t. Have you heard the shit everyone keeps saying about me?”

Ms. Khorrami gasped. “Lydia! You shouldn’t be using such language!”

Lydia looked at her innocently. “Why not? People are always calling me a bitch, or a slut…”

Ms. Khorrami sighed. “I know I can’t stop you if you want to resign. It’s your decision. But, think about what I said, okay?”

“I will let you know tomorrow,” Lydia replied.

Before leaving, Lydia turned to face Willow. “Sorry about the other day.”

She departed the room, while Willow just sat quietly.

“So, what was your issue with Lydia?” Ms. Khorrami asked.

Willow glanced at her nervously. She came in prepared with a large rant about her, but after hearing the previous conversation, she had other things to say.

“Um, could I still see her tomorrow?” she requested. “Just once, so, you know, I could help her decide if she wants to stay.”

Ms. Khorrami’s face beamed. “Thank you so much! I know she may not be the easiest person to get along with, but it’s her first time doing this. I’m glad you understand.”

Willow nodded. “She seems lonely,” she told her.

“Well, she’s always telling me otherwise,” Ms. Khorrami explained. “but, well, you heard what she said just now. Poor girl. Hasn’t had a friend since the sixth grade.”

Willow was curious. “You knew her for that long?” she asked.

“Yes,” Ms. Khorrami began. “I met with her parents to talk about where she should go for secondary school. They were concerned about she always kept to herself and barely ever talked to anyone. So I suggested she come to Portlandia to take her IB program.”

“Why here?”

“I thought that it would be easier for her to make friends in the East End community. Her parents wanted to send her to a private school, and I was worried that she would only become more isolated there.”

Ms. Khorrami sighed. “But she’s still as detached as ever. It was hard enough just getting her to come meet me regularly.”

Willow noticed the sad, tired expression on her face, and felt she should try lifting part of her burden. “I hope everything goes well tomorrow for us.”

“I hope so too. But if you’re still having trouble with math, please let me know and I will place you with someone else.”

“Thank you.”

Willow began to walk out of the room, glancing back briefly to see how exhausted Ms. Khorrami still looked. She felt bad, and wanted to stay longer, but she had homework to do. Slowly, she closed the door behind her.


The next day, Willow was walking to the peer tutoring classroom. She didn’t see Lydia in the lunch room, so she wondered if she was still in the classroom, or if she had quit already. She looked through the window, and indeed saw her sitting alone, reading manga while a tray of dumplings sat in front of her. She looked different from yesterday, as now she was wearing a black steampunk-inspired dress and silver hair sticks in a cross pattern. But she still had the same face, absorbed in her own world. Willow knocked on the door, and soon after, she gestured her inwards.

“Hi, Dia,” Willow replied after she walked in.

Lydia looked up from her book. “You’re back,” she told her, smiling serenely at her arrival. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Well, after hearing everything from Ms. Khorrami,” she explained. “I thought I’d come by to see how you’re doing.”

“Oh,” Lydia replied. “I was just surprised that you still wanted my help after what happened the other day.”

Willow paused. “I guess I thought, maybe you’d appreciate having someone around.”

She smiled sheepishly, but Lydia’s expression remained unchanged. “I don’t need friends,” she stated.

Willow continued to smile, trying her best to contain her irritation. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“I’m perfectly happy by myself,” Lydia said. “Anyway, what problem should we work on today?”

Willow was annoyed at her dismissive response, but got out her assignment, hoping things would turn out better than last time. She then noticed a familiar figure on the book cover. It was the Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind manga. Her eyes lit up as she remembered watching the movie as a little girl with her dad and brother.

“You’re a Nausicaa fan?” she asked.

Lydia paused. “Yes,” she responded. “It’s my favourite manga series.”

Willow was amazed. “I didn’t know there was a manga,” she said. “But I imagine it must be good, since I really enjoyed the movie.”

“Yes, it was a pleasant surprise to learn that the story wasn’t over,” Lydia replied. “And the manga’s so much more complex than the movie.”

Her smile brightened. “Right now, I’m at the part where Nausicaa discovers the truth behind the Sea of Corruption, that it’s really….”

She noticed Willow looking anxious, as if she was saying too much. “Well, it would be more fun if you read it for yourself, wouldn’t it?”

Willow was pleased to see Lydia so excited. “I’d love to, but I don’t know where to find it.”

Lydia paused. “Well, I guess I could lend them to you,” she offered. “Perhaps tomorrow morning?”

Willow was prepared to say yes, as she was looking forward to finally reading the manga. Before the words came out, though, she had another idea. “Actually,” Willow responded. “Would you mind if we go over to your place?”

Lydia stared at her, not expecting such a request. She thought about it for a few seconds while Willow waited nervously, wondering if her question was too awkward.

Eventually, Lydia replied, “Sure.”

Willow’s heartbeat intensified, as mixed feelings of anticipation and worry filled her. “All right. I’ll catch up with you then.”


“You’re going to Lydia’s house?” Rowan exclaimed.

Willow and her brother were walking to the bus stop, discussing their after-school plans.

“Yeah,” Willow replied. “She wanted to lend me a copy of her Nausicaa manga.”

“Couldn’t she just give it to you tomorrow morning? Why do you need to go all the way to her place?”

Willow shrugged. “I’m kinda curious to see what it looks like. Aren’t you?”

Rowan shook his head. “I don’t get it. Why are you so interested in her all of a sudden?”

Willow stared nervously at him. “Well…”

She suddenly noticed Lydia waiting at the stop for the westbound bus, not expecting to see her there.

“I gotta get going!” she finished hastily. “Can’t keep her waiting.”

Rowan sighed. “Well, have fun, I guess. See ya, sis!”

“See ya!” Willow replied.

Rowan stopped at his spot while Willow walked to meet Lydia.

“Hi,” Willow greeted. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for the bus,” Lydia answered nonchalantly.

“Aren’t your parents picking you up?”

“I told them I was fine getting home on my own. Besides, it’s better for the environment.”

Their bus arrived, and they got on board. The crowd on the bus was a mix of young students and old men and women with scruffy clothes. Most paid no attention to the girls, as they were engaged in their own gossip, though Lydia received a few odd looks. As they sat down, Willow had something on her mind.

“What’s up?” Lydia asked.

“Oh,” Willow began. “Um, we said some mean things behind your back the other day,”

“I know,” Lydia replied.

Willow winced. She was listening all along? “Sorry about that. I was just frustrated.”

“It’s okay. I deserved it.”

Willow gasped. “No, you didn’t!”

“It’s fine. I was admittedly quite rude to you and your friends, and I apologize for that.”

Willow sighed, remembering something they said. “Why did you ignore Rowan and Wisteria?”

“I had a lot on my mind.”

“Does it really take that much effort just to say hi?” Willow asked, frowning.

“We didn’t know each other. It would have come off as insincere.”

She doesn’t get it, Willow thought, as they stared at each other awkwardly. After a while, Willow thought of another conversation topic.

“So, what’s your home like?” Willow asked.

“It’s nice,” Lydia told her.

“In what way?”

Lydia smiled. “Well, if I told you now, it would ruin the surprise.”

Willow agreed. She was then distracted by the view outside, enamoured by the beautiful homes and endless sushi restaurants passing by. Lydia merely sat still, smiling in amusement at how impressed Willow was.


“Just a little further.”

Willow took in the sight of the vast ocean as they walked downhill to Lydia’s house. Excited at the prospect of seeing the place, she wanted to run faster, but had to keep up with Lydia’s leisurely pace.

“And here we are.”

Willow gasped. It was a rustic-looking stone Tudor home that extended down the cliff, with wide windows that overlooked the beach below. It was elegant in its simplicity while grand in scope, and as she stood at the archway, she anticipated how vast it would feel inside. She turned around, taking a deep breath at the sight of the deep green lawn and rainbow assortment of flowers surrounding the home. She wondered how much effort the Li family put in to keep it looking so nice.

“May I take a few pictures?” she asked.

“Yes,” Lydia replied. “But keep them to yourself.”

“I know,” Willow answered. She walked around the house to take a few shots, looking on in envy at the home she would never be able to afford, before entering the doorway. The spacious interior was even more spectacular, with sunlight beaming from every direction highlighting the finely finished wooden frames, as if to greet the pair as they walked on the marble floor. However, Willow noticed something was missing.

“Where are your parents?” she asked.

“Business meeting,” Lydia replied. “Won’t be back till late tonight.”

“Wait, they’re just leaving you alone?”

“Yes. We have the place to ourselves today.”

Lydia started walking upstairs, as Willow eagerly followed. They arrived at the open door to her room, and Willow suddenly felt a strange sensation. In contrast to the rest of the home, her room was dark, blocked by pitch-black curtains. She was intrigued by Lydia’s choice of décor. Her ceiling was decorated by stars, with a planetarium hanging downwards, and a moving gear clock was mounted on top of her computer desk. Around her computer were all sorts of odd figures and contraptions, including a crystal skull pen holder and scattered wires.

She looked to the other side of the room, and saw her bed covered by a quilt with intricate mosaic patterns. Beside it was another desk with a sewing machine with various torn clothes lying around. As expected, she also had several pearl-patterned wardrobes. It was an off-putting contrast.

“Seems like a shame to close off that ocean view, isn’t it?” Willow remarked.

“I do love waking up to the ocean breeze every morning,” Lydia answered dreamily. “But sometimes, a girl needs privacy.”

Willow glanced once again at Lydia’s collection, being particularly impressed by a hulking robot carrying a pencil.

“This looks really cool,” Willow said. “May I try it?”

“Of course,” Lydia replied. “His name is Adam, and his design was based on the Golem of Prague.”

“Looks like Frankenstein’s monster to me,” Willow remarked.

“Well, Frankenstein was based on the golem stories.”

She picked up a small Lego disc piece with runic symbols etched into it. “When you insert it into his mouth…”

The Mindstorms Golem’s eyes lit up as it started moving its pencil across the paper. Willow watched in awe as it formed a concentric crescent moon pattern.

“That’s really neat,” Willow said. “Say, have you considered the Young Inventors competition?”

Lydia paused, her voice becoming softer. “Yes. In fact, I entered an earlier version of the Golem into the fair when I was 12 years old.”

Only 12 years old? she thought. Wow. “How did it go?” she asked.

“Judges barely paid any attention to me. One of them asked me if I arrived there by mistake.”

Willow gasped, though Lydia was still smiling, to her surprise. “Wait, what?” she asked, exasperated. “How could he say such a thing?”

“Well, I also spent a lot of time preparing a nice outfit for the occasion, but it ended up looking out of place amongst the boys there.”

She gestured towards a small, tattered, sparkling red dress on her sewing desk with various markings on it. Willow was confused.

“Why did you put so much effort into your looks? It’s an inventor contest, not a dance hall.”

Lydia’s smile evaporated. “That’s what the judge said too,” she remarked.

Willow shivered, as if her words froze the air in front of her. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. A lot of people think fashion is something only stupid, shallow girls are interested in.”

Willow was curious. “Why is it so important to you?”

“It’s my first impression to the world,” she explained, smiling dreamily. “Whatever I feel inside, I can show on the outside. I can experiment with varying styles, feeling like a different person each time. And when I find the perfect combination, it’s just as exhilarating to look at myself in the mirror as seeing a machine finally come alive and work perfectly.”

Willow was impressed. As much as she enjoyed fashion studies class, she never thought about it that way before. Lydia then put her finger to her lip, trying to remember something. She walked up to her bookcase, and pulled out a gem-encrusted box. “Anyway, here are all seven volumes of Nausicaa. I hope you enjoy the story as much as I do.”

“Thank you very much,” Willow replied. “I’ll take good care of them!”

She looked at her watch, and realized it was nearly 5 pm.

“Um, my brother’s girlfriend is coming over to our place for a barbeque,” she informed Lydia. “So I’ll have to go soon. Wanna come over?”

“Unfortunately,” Lydia replied. “My parents don’t want me going out too far at night. I apologize for that.”

Willow grimaced. “That’s too bad.”

Suddenly, she remembered something Lydia said that bothered her.

“Do you really mean it?” she began, looking worried. “That you don’t need friends?”

“Yes,” Lydia said, to Willow’s disappointment. She waved around the room. “Just look around. I have so many things to create, stories to experience, and so much to discover about the world. As long as I have that, I’m happy.”

She paused, gazing back at her. “But it is nice, to be able to share these stories with someone. Thank you for coming today.”

Willow felt a strange sensation wash over her. The way she looked at her, how delicately she spoke those last words, it was reassuring. She smiled as she turned back towards the door, noticing a watercolour portrait of beautiful woman clad in a deep blue dress and black flowers.

“Who is she?” Willow asked.

“Ada Lovelace,” Lydia stated, smiling sweetly. “A visionary, and my hero. She was the first to realize the potential of Charles Babbage’s Analytical Machine to manipulate more than mere numbers, and laid the foundational theory for modern computing.”

“Sounds like an amazing woman,” Willow responded admiringly.

“She is,” Lydia concurred.

She took out her phone, and snapped a picture before she walked outside.

“See ya, Lydia,” Willow said.

“Farewell,” she responded airily.


(table of contents)